LET'S GET GAY MARRIED

Long-term readers of this blerg will know that I've expressed some divergent thoughts on marriage (hither and thither) and its relative importance to me and my life goals. It's not that I don't fully support equality, on the marriage front as much as any other front, it's just that I'd like the equality debate to not hinge on that implicit dichotomy—singles vs. couples. Those of us in a binding lifelong union vs. those of us who are maybe single, maybe in a non-binding lifelong union, or maybe we're just Nickelback fans and who the f*ck could spend undying eternity with a Nickelback fan?

All of this is just to say that I wish there were more laws on the books that respected and protected a more diverse array of life choices, like planned-for single parenthood or constantly getting a lot of (self-respecting) ass because you feel like it. (I discussed this much more in depth in my last HuffPo piece, FYI.) It seems there's still this underlying fear of a gray area that's informing the marriage debate in this country, but queerness is kind of all about that gray area, you know? I'm hoping that sex education and prevalent social mores come to reflect that in due time...but for now—pretty wedding moodboards!

If I do get married, it's going to be glamorous as f*ck. I'm determined to get married outdoors and I will only get married in June. I'll wear something custom, duh, and the ceremony will also be performance art because I have to upstage Terence Koh's '09 East Hampton wedding.

Miranda Brooks' ceremony (always Miranda) seemed totally gorgeous and not too fussy (you can see the full thing here), so I have that in my head as a sort of low-budget blueprint. I mean, it wasn't even a destination wedding.

Honestly, I just want like, a band of gypsies playing jazz and ribbon dancing and I'll be happy. But I also really want a kid involved, so if I don't have one by then I'll have to borrow somebody's. As far as portrait photography goes, I've always really loved the above shot of NPH and David Burtka—it's actually romantic and not cheesy! But I think it was staged for a photo shoot? C'est la vie...

What are your thoughts on marriage? Will you be getting gay married soon?

Image credits: 1 & 2 // Les Loups, 3 // Stone Fox Bride (click image for source); all moodboard content via Pinterest (and there's more where this all came from, so check it out!)

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KIMONO DRESSING (IS A THING)

Because nothing says "outdoor music festival" like a gay guy in a kimono. Or maybe that's Sienna Miller in wellies...? Either way, this is what I wore yesterday at the Northside Festival, where I saw Solange! And she was gorgeous and I died. Photos McArthur Joseph.

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YOU NEED TO KNOW: MATIN ZAD

Matin Zad is blowing up the internets right now—he shot a much reblogged Duckie Brown campaign and has done some editorial work to boot. His aesthetic is subversive, minimal, and abstractly peculiar and I love it. If you check out his portfolio you'll see he was a pretty big influence on the art direction for this week's shoot.

Photography Matin Zad. Find him online and on Tumblr.

WOMEN'S WEAR AS #MENSWEAR

The other week I popped over to independent designer Jenny Lai's apartment-cum-atelier to talk about her line, NOT, and play dress up. Armed with a duffle bag of some of my ensembular essentials, we excitedly devised ways to take the line, which is solely "women's wear," and see how I could make the pieces my own. We ate 饺子 (dumplings) while listening to Macklemore and xxyyxx and chatted about what it's like to develop and manage a brand, why fashion week isn't relevant anymore, and where the hell is Rihanna when you need her? FIRST LOOK: Oak t-shirt with NOT skirt (looks like pants sorta, no?) and vintage Stacy Adams patent brogues.

LOOK 2: Wearing a twisted seam shirt of two fabrics with contrast piping and an uneven hem worn over another tee with my black skinnies.

Lai has an apparel degree from RISD, though she grew up studying music and has a diverse fine arts background. She interned for houses in London and Amsterdam and even designed jewelry in Rwanda before launching NOT right after school. "It was really important to me to experience the industry from a lot of different viewpoints, not just from the high-fashion side," she tells me. "I didn't feel daunted by the idea of starting my own business...I'm not learning on anybody else's dollar, but I still feel this is my route."

LOOK 3: Collared shirt with "backpack strap" shoulder padding and the sheer side pant.

Production and manufacturing for NOT is entirely based in NYC, and all fabrics are sourced here as well. "It's important to work with a very stable set of people that start to understand how you like your clothing produced," says Lai. "A lot of my clothing is produced in an untraditional way, and it takes time to teach someone how to do that." The techniques are also developed in the city, such as the laser cutting used for her Spring collection. "I would encourage anybody and everybody to understand a little bit better the process behind creating clothes."

LOOK 4: Pink lasercut spandex top and skirt handwoven with flower print tulle strips over my
Commes des Garçons SHIRT shirt.

Lai describes a busy work schedule that requires a precarious balancing act: concepting next season's collection while monitoring the current season's production while maintaining a strong PR presence and trying to attend educational lectures and talks.

"I begin by writing a lot and experimenting with tactile stuff, not necessarily fabric," she says. "I’m always very present when I’m designing the collection. It’s a very personal thing that I’m hoping people will respond to."

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[TRENDSPOTTING] STACKABLE RINGS

I, like all other people with eyes and Style.com bookmarked, have been obsessed with the stacked rings at Balenciaga S/S'13 for months now. But I hadn't really even tried to, "Get the look!" because of my giant man hands and the assumption that anything remotely similar (and equally delicate) would be made for slender lady knuckles.

In an attempt to show some sort of solidarity with departed designer Nicolas Ghesquière and his under-appreciated commercial savvy, I picked up a pair of thick vintage brass rings and accepted wearing one on my pointer finger and one on my pinky as the closest I would get to recreating the splendor of The Stacked Effect. Then I left those in a public bathroom (hand washing, be damned!) and resigned myself to misery. But then I stopped by the Flea again (again) last weekend and found a vendor selling these sweet pieces of ass:

Aren't they so perf you could throw up all over yourself? I almost didn't buy them to teach myself a lesson about being responsible and blah blah blah, but then I did buy them to feel cool and pretty. And I do! #winning

You can shop a similar style here, or check out the Brooklyn Flea!

THEYSKENS' THEORY RESORT 2014

I don't usually post collections as they're happening—I'm admittedly not so trend oriented—but we all get why I'm posting this, right? I mean, we're alllll on the same page here, ya? I am flerping my shit for this. Obviously that first look—I mean, crop tops (bralettes, whatever) are so on my 'dar, ya know?—but that SECOND LOOK. Her jeans are baggy, ripped and PLEATED with a twisted seam. And that sweatshirt? And that belt? I want to go to the store RIGHT NOW and get everything, except obvs I would replace the strappy sandals with some Birks. Exept obvs also I am poor and that would never happen.

Also, I once ran into Hanne Gaby at a Whole Foods. And by "ran into" I mean, "saw from a distance and tried to figure out how I could secretly Instagram her without coming across like a total perv." I couldn't figure out how, so you'll have to take my word for it that this happened at all. Which of course you do, because #newssource. Images via Style.com.

P.S. If you're looking for some more ladyspiration, I highly suggest checking out this edit.

ERIN WASSON X THE COVETEUR

I remember seeing this shoot on Rackk and Ruin when it first came out, but for one reason or another it didn't stick with me until I revisited it the other day. I love how some elements of Wasson's space are graphic and sculptural while others have an enviable patina, and all of it perfectly reflects her personal brand of rock-'n-roll cowgirl chic. I know I've been on that Scandi grind, but I really like here seeing the way her tchotchkes and mementos and artifacts mesh so well with all sorts of cool rich white lady shit like Prada shoes and expensive candles.

I'm currently apartment hunting like a wild banshee and will hopefully, by some point this summer, have my own #supercute space to share with you guys. Until then, you know where to find me. (Pinterest is where to find me.) All photos via The Coveteur. Like this post? Check out one of my other favorite Coveteur'd interiors here!

2 WAYS TO WEAR OVERALLS

Overalls are trending so hard right now, I can't even. Who the hell woulda thunk? I guess because Urban Outfitters brought on a sort of romper renaissance in recent years, and onesies and jumpsuits are de rigueur as well. So, basically, all of the clothes we wore as children are now being embraced by sexually active human adults. Ironically, wearing most of this shit is only a great way to improve your sex life if your sex life is nothing more than whacking off in the dark. Which, luckily, mine is! So I picked up a pair of vintage French workwear overalls from Quality Mending Co. (You know how I do) and set out to own this look in two different ways:

1. Like an urban farmer from the early 1900's

This could also be described as the more "literal" way to wear overalls. It's pretty cute, right? Inspiration images via L21ème and my NYFW post from last year. All that nana is vintage.

2. Like a baller

This is the more Grindr-friendly iteration of this look, a.k.a chickenheads will be all up on your isht. It's sort of backup dancer for Janet on her Rhythm Nation tour meets, uh...well...farmer, again. All that nana is vintage, again, except for my Giles & Brother cuff. Wassup.

Photos McArthur Joseph. Also, here is a gif of Janet Jackson. You're welcome.

CHOOSING A MINERAL SUNSCREEN

My "beauty" posts are strictly seasonal at this point, but as a former Allure subscriber I still consider myself an authority on the matter, so harken to my wisdom.

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[STREET STYLE] BEDFORD AVE

The hair slays me. (This was taken months ago, not during this weekend's ninety-degree heatwave, FYI.)